One afternoon we decided to watch ‘Return of the Living Dead.’ She loved watching scary movies, whether they were actually scary or so campy that they were funny. This one definitely falls into the latter category. She sat in her chair, and I stretched out on the sofa. She cackled. Think of a loud, can’t-hold-it-back, almost witchy-sounding laugh. When she was (and still is sometimes) really tickled, she let out this cackle. It is infectious and happened often. She was never short of a sense of humor.

My grandma has always been a force. Well, at least as long as I’ve known her the last forty-something years. She would tell whoever exactly what she thought, but she wasn’t mean about it. I asked her to help dye my hair when I was teenager. I wanted to dye it black so I could look emo. She helped me. We laughed about her fingers that were now tinged purple because she didn’t want to wear the gloves that came with the kit. She was stubborn like that. She did not like me with black hair and she definitely let me know. But, she helped me and we had fun. She never mentioned again that she didn’t like my hair. Just that one time. She really just preferred that it was its natural color.

There were many things and people she loved over the years. Her friends and family were always important to her. She loved reading (still does) and listening to music. She used to garden, work in her flowerbeds, and plant a few tomatoes. She was generous and never shied away from helping people. She was especially good to my friends who needed help, often because their home life wasn’t quite enough.

She has Alzheimer’s now. Sometimes these aspects of her personality still shine through. On good days, we can joke and tease and laugh like before. When I show her something, a funny quote or picture, and I get to hear that laugh. She’s still in there, maybe not as much as before, but at least sometimes.

Although Alzheimer’s is part of her now, it isn’t all of her. I want to remember her and find her through the haze. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.